The past month in a half has been a very hard month for the Hamm family. Elias went from sleeping 9 hour stretches to getting up every 45-3 hours at night. Our happy, content baby became a cranky, miserable baby. He went to the doctor 4 times in the course of 2.5 weeks (only one of those times was a well visit, and 2 of those were after hours, last minute visits). Ambrielle has at times gotten shortchanged on attention as we have had to give Elias more attention. She’s also been having bedtime struggles, making our days even longer and the opportunity to rest/recup in the evenings nearly impossible.
We’ve dealt with the draining emotions of watching your child in pain and not being able to help. The heartache of knowing our toddler can’t understand why her brother needs so much attention. Discouragement from a variety of fronts. Spiritual attack from the enemy who desires nothing other than to disable us from being effective for God’s Kingdom. Flat tires. Financial tension. Church transitions and the mixed bag of emotions accompanying it. Continued and worsened physical pain of my broken body. All amidst the normal craziness of a new semester of ministry plus the added craziness of making steps toward church planting.
We’ve been afflicted. Perplexed. Persecuted. Struck down.
But not crushed.
Not driven to despair.
Not forsaken.
Not destroyed.
Oh what hope and joy that is! There is no denying we are run down. We both feel like we have little to offer, weary inside and out. Things seem to be on the upswing and we are praying they will stay that way for a while.
But even if they don’t, as hard as this month has been, God has shown His faithfulness to us over and over and over again. He has not left us alone in our struggles, not even for a moment. In our moments of unfaithfulness, of doubt, of anger, of bitterness, He has not changed. When we have felt we cannot do whatever the moment requires of us, He has carried us. Sustained us. Overcome our weakness.
That is why I can say with confidence: WE. ARE. NOT. DESTROYED.
It’s going to take a lot more than flat tires, sleepless nights, excruciating pain, parental struggles, disappointment and heartache, eczema and croup, to destroy us. And in fact, there is nothing that can destroy us.
Because Christ has been crucified for us. He has risen victorious. He has destroyed death and the power of evil that seeks to overcome us. There is nothing, nothing that can separate us from the love of God. Nothing that can tear us from His grasp. No struggle, no toil, no ailment, no weakness.
Though we are weak, He is strong. We have the power of the Almighty God on our side. He doesn’t promise us it will be easy. He doesn’t promise to take us under or around or over the struggles of this life. But He does promise us He will walk us through the fire. He will carry us through the struggle. His strength will be made perfect in our weakness. His glory will be seen in our frailty.
The best picture I can give you of how we’re doing is this: flat on our faces. Foreheads to the ground. Arms outstretched. We may be too exhausted to stand, but we praise Him nonetheless. We’re crying out, clinging desperately to the only One who can give strength to the weary, patience to the frustrated, love to the bitter, hope to the discouraged, joy to the brokenhearted, power to the tempted.
I can’t think of anything better to say now but what Paul has already written in 2 Corinthians 4:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us...always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies…
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
We do not lose heart. These afflictions, though real, are light and momentary. He is accomplishing in us a work beyond what we can imagine. He is producing fruit in our lives and the lives of others as a result of the hardship. He is showing us a clearer picture of how His body is meant to function as they have rallied around us with love and help. He is giving us opportunities to proclaim His light in darkness by sharing His faithfulness in these past few weeks.
So I say it yet again:
We are not crushed. We are not driven to despair. We are not forsaken. We are not destroyed.
And we do not lose heart.
